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I have to get something off my chest at this point: I LOVE the sound of my own voice (...is this really news to anyone?). Working on the podcast has brought new meaning to that expression for me. Even though I am still working out the kinks, finding a good rhythm, and torturing my poor web designer with questions like, "can we make it seem like you have just stepped onto a page with never ending sunlight?", I have never had more fun with something than I am with this. I waited until the last possible moment to do the recording this week due to the typhoid nature of my cough, and was up most of the night making sure I had the best expression for the points I wanted to make. For someone who loves to experience life via her senses, being sick this way has tried its best to strip them from me. I couldn't even enjoy the chili soaked marinade of the carne al pastor I bought from the Mexican carniceria down the street, and could scarcely hear the butcher's question, when he asked if I was a Spanish teacher. Being back in a southern California beach town that is coated with Mexico's culture from days before it belonged to my country, I always feel nostalgia for this blend of Native and Spanish influences. I smile as I hear the ranchera songs being played on the radio, and feel a sense of home in the local markets, even though my appearance hardly resembles the people whose paths I cross each day. Needless to say, I have been enjoying myself while becoming reacquainted with the daily sunshine and Pacific Ocean.
This morning after I posted the podcast I gave a listen to it with fresh ears to make sure I was happy with the result, and soon found myself listening to all the others in succession. It's such a funny feeling, because it is completely free from ego, and yet I am so proud of it. I am also amazed that when I put out even a small amount of focused effort toward my new found project, that the response is overwhelming and doors just seem to magically open. That does not mean I will back down from all of the hard work I have put forth thus far, and will have to continue doing for the foreseeable future, it just creates a voracity for the bigger picture of which I feel privileged to be a part.
The best compliment I received recently was from a 22 year old computer programmer who had never met me - "I don't even like opera, but for some strange reason I can't help listening to you discuss it." That is all I can ask. I don't expect everyone will agree with my way of presenting this perspective, that would be as silly as expecting every person I meet to like me. You either will or you won't! I do admit that I have had moments where I nearly second guessed putting this out there, for fear of those who prefer to follow the rules of opera or have found success in doing things according to the set standard. The idealists of the world are few and far between, and usually met by an onslaught of naysayers causing some of them to give up along the way. However, for the brave souls who have lifted their heads out of the crowd, stared adversity in the face and trudged onward without compromising themselves, I thank you. They have reminded us to see beyond ourselves, believing that change is not only possible, it is inevitable.
We (myself included) get so caught up in following ideas of "supposed to" that we lay down the notion of it being acceptable to make your own rules for living. I don't believe there is one person throughout time who has existed that had it all figured out, nor do I believe one way is the right way for everyone. The best part about my beliefs is that you don't have to agree with them. The only rule of life we all share is that one day we will die. As for the rest, the fun is in getting to make it up as you go along!
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss
