Thursday, December 9, 2010

Let the Lightning Strike!

Since it's been a while, and I DID promise to follow through, not only to you, but more importantly to myself, I feel it imperative to mention life's activities have taken precedence as "talking" gave way to "doing".
The day I sat down to map out my story board of goals, I was faced with a very important truth, which up until this point I had done a very good job of ignoring. I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life. Most people who know me are aware that I have always pursued some manner of a career in opera. However, when I stop to look back over the last 14 years, I see it full of other odd jobs to pay the rent and not as much time singing. This started me thinking that perhaps this direction I had been heading in for so long wasn't really my heart's deepest desire. I love opera and I do have the talent to sing it, but also know I never had a thick enough skin to put up with all of the rejection and cruel criticism that came along with it. One trait I do not lack is perseverance in going after something that I want (just ask any customer service representative or guy I have dated) so maybe an operatic performance career wasn't what I wanted after all. When I know what I want, nothing gets in my way. I have no idea why it has taken me so long to figure this out, but now that I have finally admitted it, there is a peace I've never experienced before. This thought brought such a smile to my face as I realised I really could do anything! Of course, it has taken me a few weeks, thousands of miles, more personal traumas, hours of brainstorming, investigating and digging deeper into my soul than ever before to find out, but I ultimately stumbled upon something that has gotten me out of bed like a shot every morning. There don't seem to be enough hours in the day to get all of the work done that I need to do. It's even hard to pull myself away for a meal, and THAT is truly saying something! For the first time in a long time I am able to release that passion which has been locked inside, making me miserable because I couldn't see clearly enough to let it out.

If you've read my personal blogs for the past year, you will know that it has not been an easy one.  Moving to Paris brought one catastrophe (on my personal scale) after another and with it a multitude of lessons that I had to face.  Essentially ending up penniless, homeless, loveless and broken I returned to California.  This was the most humbling experience I could imagine, because it is where I grew up and where I swore I would never go back unless I had made something of myself.  However, after mild November temperatures, countless days of sunshine, the Pacific Ocean and breathtaking sunsets, I can only laugh at my previous notion.  Is there really some place better I could have picked to sit in the rubble of my life and rebuild from a brand new foundation?  There is something utterly peaceful about starting from a blank canvas.  I get to make the rules, forget the past and discard any preconceived notions I had about my life thus far.  Furthermore, I can return to my childlike instinct of defying anyone who tells me I can't do something that way.  Wanna bet?  ;-)

Screw the story board to the sticking place and join me on this endeavor as I reveal my new pet project and big vision within the next few days.  I will document its process, hardships and triumphs all here in this blog, but for now, add yourself to my "followers" on the right hand column next to this posting and you will be among the first to hear about the launch of my brand new website!  It will go live on Sunday morning so stay plugged, tweeted, or facebook'd in for your personal invitation.

Until then!


1 comment:

  1. Looking forward to it. Hugs! And break a leg!!